(Photo by Jayvee)
“A real man doesn’t love the most beautiful girl in the world, he loves the girl who can make his world the most beautiful.”
Far across the ocean’s distance and the spaces that part us, I can tell you, me too, I have been swayed away by that beautiful talking, it is indeed an amiable music to every woman’s ear.
Hearts are never to be played, emotions are never to be tricked and souls are never to be duped. Yet, with the fallen world that we live in, it seems that there are scumbags whose own pleasures stick within their circle of emotional needs even if it cost somebody else’s misery. They are called the game players. Sometimes they play well, but most of the time, they fall to their own pit.
Mind you, these players enter in a smokescreen. They are sweet, charismatic and gentle. They make you the most special woman in the whole wide world, like you are the “only” stunning one. They care like there’s no tomorrow. Yes baby, they are the syrupiest, sugary, mushy-gushy sweethearts that melt your hearts away.
Hear me out, these are all trap and yes, it’s crap.
THE POWER OF WORDS
Gentlemen, what do we say about words? I am a woman, a lover of words. I knew a lot of women do too. But then again, it does not mean we crave flowery and sweet words. Believe me, they are empty.
Words have weights. They can be used powerfully to build and smoothly to flirt. Such that a single word can warm a heart, above and beyond, can break a soul. At once, a word is given in a second but it can never, even a lifetime to be taken back. Once it’s said, it’s done.
In the bible, it is pronounced that death and life is in the power of the tongue. It can make a great forest set on fire by a small spark.
If you are familiar with the song “You had me from hello” by Kenny Chesney, it all started from one word that the love starts to grow. That one word smashes a wall so high around one’s heart, brought it down and those bricks of defense scattered on the ground. See? Only one word and it sparked.
Proverbs 16:24, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Read it slowly. It says there, gracious words. Not a lie, not a flattery. In proverbs 16:23, “The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.” Again, read it slowly. It says, wise man. Lastly, in proverbs, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death.” Again, slowly say death.
If you are wise enough to understand this, realize that you are not a fool man. A fool who simply throws his words without thinking, it appears to be right and sweet but in the end, it’s empty and can lead to death.
I’m not saying sweet words are as bad as that. It’s just that, using words should be wisely and should have substance.
Men, I want to be seriously frank with you. If you do not have a single motive to be intentional with your “friendship” or “getting-to-know-each-other” stroke with ONE WOMAN, please don’t say HELLO. Ever. Don’t spark a peaceful heart with fire.
ACT LIKE MEN
1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (NASB), “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
You’re no longer a boy, act like a man possessing the characteristics of manhood, courage, strength, vigor and decency. Quit playing games with life and with women. They are a treasure of heaven, dearly loved by their Maker. Their hearts are as fragile and as precious as their Maker’s heart. If you’re fooling her, who are you fooling more?
Would you rather become a dud in its place of a dude? NO. You’re not as useless and worthless as that. Don’t fit in with the world who feeds their ego by the counts of women dated. This is a true story. There are men, regardless of their looks, proudly stand like they are hundred times ahead from any other men because they are walled by many different women. Oh come on! Don’t be ignorant brother.
No decent woman wants a man who is surrounded by women. If you want to settle with a decent woman, be one.
Stand up as a man bearing equal in God’s image fully deserving of dignity and respect. Bear in your mind that you are just as David, a man after God’s own heart.
YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE
You are as flawed as you are. You are not great, if you think you are, I’m sorry but you are not. This is kind of hard pill to swallow but you are not your good looks, your talents and never your wealth. What makes you who you are then?
1 Corinthians 15:10, But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.
By the grace of God, you are true to yourself and that makes you who you are. God is true and He is inside of you. You have the pure heart and fear of God. You are responsible of your every action and you cannot do a single thing that contradicts His command. Good conscience swallows your being.
WHEN SINGLENESS IS A BATTLE
If singleness moves you wrongly thinking like you’re already left behind, perhaps you start stepping back. One thing I knew for sure is that, singleness is a constant weight on a man’s shoulder. A possible reason why there are men getting to know and dating a lot of women besides having fun is pressure. They are burdened thus they need to roam around and search for one. Sadly, they are not conscious that they are building a bad image of themselves playing instead of intentionally searching.
Ptr. Rick Warren once said, “The best time to win the battle with temptation is before it begins.” Being a man, you got to focus on the right things. Think the right ones. Throw the thrash.
Just because your friends seem happy now with their ladies doesn’t mean you have too. Don’t get destructed by comparison as everyone has their own time. You are single at the moment for an advanced purpose. You are on your waiting season for a manly preparation.
Don’t confuse singleness with lonesomeness. As what I’ve heard, a bad marriage is as hundred times hell on earth.
Use your waiting season not to flirt every woman but to cultivate your relationship with God. Honor Him and He will surely honor you back through a Proverbs 31 woman. Would you like that? The flawless Proverbs 31 wife you are ever seeking.
Brothers, I care about you. Don’t waste your life any longer. You have been made MAN because of a special purpose. To glorify His Name through you. Not to play around with your life and somebody else’s.
*Inserting the verses of Proverbs 31 to benefit those who have not heard of it.*
The Wife of Noble Character
(The Proverbs 31 Woman)
10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.